A question of answers

We are looking for answers… all of us. Questions are millions, but the quest is one—to find the right answer. But when we find an answer, does it satisfy the quest? Put differently, is the answer ‘right’?

If you have been seeking answers to your many questions, but are not satisfied with the answers you‘re getting, perhaps it’s time to change focus—from answers to questions.

Remember, the responsibility of an answer lies squarely on the shoulders of the question itself. Every answer lies within the question. If the question is not correct, the answer, no matter how profound, can never be right. How can wrong questions have right answers? So, if your question is a self-limiting one, don’t expect your answer to be a self-empowering one.

Take, for example, questions that start with ’why‘. Such questions are invariably backward-looking.

So, if you’re concerned about your excess weight and ask yourself, “Why am I overweight?” your answers might be “Because I eat too much” or “I am not active enough” or even “Because I am genetically predisposed to being fat”. Note that all answers begin with “because”, keeping you focussed on the cause and, in the process, only reinforcing the situation.

If you’d like to change something about your current situation, your question should reflect that desire. So, a self-empowering question would be, "How can I make losing weight exciting?" or "What are my options to lose the excess flab?" Questions like these open up possibilities and empower you to act in your interest.

But, what if the question is right and the answer still fails to satisfy the quest. The reason for that could be prejudice; often the questioner does not find the answers satisfactory because of his inability to listen with a clear, open mind. So even if the answer is right, it may appear wrong to the questioner because he doesn’t want the right answer... he wants an answer that he wants to hear.

In the final analysis, an answer must put the mind to silence. Like His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says, “Silence is the goal of all answers. If the answer does not silence the mind, it is not an answer.” So if your answers don’t quieten your mind, first check if you asked the right questions. Then, ask yourself if you’re listening without prejudice.

Completely in love

Last February, on Valentine’s Day, millions of people around the world professed their love to one another—most of them without understanding, or knowing, what love really is.

Mind you, hormones alone are not responsible for perpetuating the myths associated with love—our literature [ancient and modern] too shares the blame. It has always propagated the idea of a can’t-live-without-you kind of love.

So, when we describe romantic love, we usually associate it with feelings such as “she completes me” or “he is my other half”. Somehow, we have been led to believe that we are not complete unless we are united with our counterpart—that someone special who fills the void in our life.

The trouble with such notions about love is that they are inherently erroneous—two incomplete people can never complete each other. If you get the feeling of completeness only with another, it is nothing more than an illusion.

Think of two ‘Cs’ coming together to form an ‘O’. Each ‘C’ derives its sense of completeness from the other—in essence, both ‘Cs’ feel complete by sharing their incompleteness. Unfortunately, such feelings are temporary and therefore bound to cause disappointment, sooner than later.

James Redfield touches upon this idea beautifully in his best-selling novel, The Celestine Prophesy. He says that when two incomplete people come together, they feel a false sense of euphoria. This is a classic co-dependent relationship, which has built-in problems that begin to arise immediately.

He explains, “The problem with this completed person, this ‘O’, that both people think they have reached, is that it has taken two people to make this one whole person. This one whole person consequently has two heads, or egos. Both people want to run this whole person they have created and so both people want to command the other, as if the other were themselves. This kind of illusion of completeness always breaks down into a power struggle.”

Love is not when another completes you but when you are already complete and you share that completeness with another. When you are complete, you love without expecting anything in return. What would you expect when you don’t need anything?

We’re all here to complete our own circles of growth and then share that completeness with others. To become complete, what you need is a fulfilling relationship with yourself. Once you’re complete, you’re so full of love that you simply give it—you’re not really bothered whether the other deserves it or returns the favour.

Now imagine two complete persons coming together to share their completeness with each other. They create magic. And that’s what love is: magic.

The Value Of A Smile :)

The value of a smile is priceless, yet it is the cheapest, easiest, most rewarding and most sincere gift to anyone that crosses your path. A smile makes a person's day, anybody's day even a stranger's day. A smile is infectious. Start infecting people with your smile today.

A smile is nature's best antidote for discouragement. It brings rest to the weary, sunshine to those who are sad, and hope to those who are hopeless and defeated

A smile is so valuable that it can't be bought, begged, borrowed, or taken away against your will. You have to be willing to give a smile away before it can do anyone else any good.

So if someone is too tired or grumpy to flash you a smile, let him have one of yours anyway. Nobody needs a smile as much as the person who has none to give.


SO KEEP SMILE EVERYTIME IN YOUR LIFE .

The important things in life

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”